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Two Ladies: La Bella Bimba at Barons Court Theatre / Canal Cafe Theatre

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T hey sing. They dance. They clown around. They even wash clothes! Such is the story of La Bella Bimba, part of the Voila Theatre Festival, which highlights new and emerging artists. A tale of two Italian ladies who land in 1920s New York, trying to break into Broadway without speaking a word of English. It’s harmless, primarily even if a little nonsensical, and is currently playing as part of the Voila! Theatre Festival .  I caught the performance at the Barons Court Theatre , where the intimate setting created an evocative atmosphere reminiscent of dark New York alleyways. The space was almost claustrophobic with a distinct smell of rising damp, making you feel immersed in the story of two Ladies hanging around the theatre doors of Broadway. On the plus side, the theatre has some of the most comfortable seats you will find in any pub theatre in London. As the naive and hopeful singers, Co-creator Lucrezia Galeone as Carlotta and Sarah Silvestri as Cecilia are fine singers with co...

Overheard at the gym Tuesday

Man #1: She now has a dog Man #2: What sort? Man #1: It's a poodle. A little one. And I don't want it pissing all over my flat. Man #2: They do that you know. They piss everywhere. And shit...

Overheard at the Affordable Art Fair Sunday...

Woman: Oh yes that's my sort of thing Man: What that? Woman: Yeah that's my sort of thing when I'm talking about abstract landscapes...

Overheard at the supermarket

Woman (arriving at checkout with a lot of greens) : Don't laugh, but I have an unhealthy obsession with cucumbers. Well... I guess it is healthy...

Overheard in a waiting room...

Woman #1: My idea of heaven is walking around a Marks and Spencers... Woman #2: I have been quite fond of walking 'round a Morrison's in the past... Woman #1: Yeah but there just isn't one 'round our way...

Overheard on the bus Sunday

Girl on the telephone : I was like, "Excuse me but what kind of professional goes back and looks at detail like that?" I actually hate him... Just a little bit...

Overheard on the bus Monday evening

Man: There are elements of the play that just allow for those sorts of pathos... Woman: Yes I would have to agree there Man: Of course for other people it would be like oh yeah I would just rather watch Eastenders

Overheard outside the pub Saturday

Woman (to security): Ooh you have such a big head... And that hat makes you look like a baker...

Overheard at Café Nero Saturday

Woman 1: Aaah know you know her! Woman 2: Well I do and she's like you and me... Woman 1: She is? Woman 2: Yes she's a little bit german a little bit Flemish a little bit Scandinavian Woman 1: And her husband? Woman 2: Well she's divorced you know... Woman 1: Aw such a shame...

Overheard at the gym...

White Man #1: Sorry I didn't see you there in the dark Black Man #2: Hey, I didn't see you in the light...

Overheard at the gym Thursday...

Man 1: Yes what was how you used to do it? Man 2: It was 2 egg whites in the blender with the protein shake Man 3: Oh yeah that's right. After some pasta... Man 2: Oh no pasta. That's carbs...

Overheard on the Tube home Tuesday...

Man 1: She gives me evils because I'm dis neo liberal like you know... Man 2: Yeah and wiv your business acumen and that...

Overheard at the gym Thursday...

Man number one: So how do you get it like that? Man number two: Well the pastry has to be the right consistency...

Overheard at Whole Foods High Street Kensington Sunday

Italian Man drinking espresso: The cappuccino is forbidden after noon... Man listening: Noon? Italian Man drinking espresso: Yes noon... Man listening: Really? Italian Man drinking espresso: Yes noon. It is really... Forbidden...

Overheard outside the Ivy London

Paparazzi #1: I'm trying to help you... Paparazzi #2: You're trying to help me? Paparazzi #1: Yes... Paparazzi #2: ... You're an idiot.

Overheard at the gym Friday night...

Man #1: So we could have salad for dinner... Man #2: Yeah like lettuce? Man #1: Yeah like lettuce... Lettuce and... Chicken...

Idle banter at the movies Sunday

Paul: Let the Right One In isn't that scary when you think about it... David: You kidding? I hadn't heard you hyperventilating so much since that aborted landing flying back from Edinburgh... Paul: Well okay... Still the central message of the movie seems to be that everyone needs a guardian angel... Of death...

Idle chatter in the front row at Cadogan Hall Tuesday

Gio: I don't think much of their pirate outfits ... Paul: Hmm no but check out the camel toe on the violinist... Gio: Ok come interval we're leaving... Paul: I am finding it strangely intriguing already...

Overheard at the gay film fest last night...

Man #1: Andrew's really nice... Man #2: Yeah? Man #1: And hot... I bet he shags around a lot... Man #2: He's got a boyfriend you know... Man #1: Yeah so?

Overheard on Brompton Road...

Man #1: So how is your sister? Man #2: Ah she is just bad news...

Overheard in SW9 on the weekend...

Woman on phone (with handsfree): Wellaaavebincallinyou... Wellaahdon'givafuck...