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No country for old women: Old Ladies - at Finborough Theatre

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The day after seeing The Old Ladies at the Finborough Theatre , I was describing the play to someone in great detail: about three old ladies who lived in a rickety house in southern England in 1935. Based on Hugh Walpole’s novel and adapted by Rodney Ackland, it is the sort of story with enough believability, humour and mild thriller to stick in your mind. Perhaps it is the lure of this dark, forboding tale of a life without money, to be alone and to be old, that makes you feel attracted to this poverty porn. But then again, given the state of the world, the cost of living, an ageing population, or just the fact that it’s a dog-eat-dog world, it might as well be an every little old lady-for-herself, too. It’s a well-acted and staged piece that moves at a brisk pace, so there isn’t much time to think about it too much. And in the intimate (or should that be claustrophobic?) space of the Finborough, there’s nowhere to avert your eyes. Even if you wanted to.  The scene is a grim Cathe...

Bit parts: Garry Starr Performs Everything @swkplay

Garry Starr Performs Everything Production Photo

Garry Starr Performs Everything is a bare-bones (and bare buttocks) tribute to the theatre. Theatre may be in trouble, and audiences are down, but Garry Starr aims to save the theatre and bring back to the masses every style of theatre possible. As long as each style involves wearing a transparent white leotard or a skimpy thong. And tassels. It's part comedy, part physical comedy and part perv at Gary's physical prowess. The sentiment "if you've got it, flaunt it" applies here. So here we are with a show that has been around for some years and is having its first proper London run at the Southwark Playhouse (Borough) through Christmas.

The premise is that Garry Starr (played by Damien Warren-Smith) has left the Royal Shakespeare Company over artistic differences. He is now on a mission to save the theatre from misrepresentation and worthy interpretations by doing things such as a two-minute Hamlet, recreating scenes from a Pinter play using unsuspecting audience members, or recreating tragedy using somewhat familiar lyrics to songs by Britney. 

Garry Starr Performs Everthing production photo

As Garry performs everything, there is plenty of scope for audience participation. He asks almost every audience member if they're familiar with the Japanese style of theatre called Noh with a "Do you know Noh?". Being from Melbourne with a reasonably solid Australian accent, it becomes a masterclass in flattening vowels and creating syllables where none exist.   Then, a romantic comedy is re-enacted by sharing a plate of spaghetti with a volunteer until the lips meet. It is not a show for the shy unless you strategically place yourself away from aisles or rows he could easily access. 

However, amongst the nude ballet and bare-faced cheekiness, there is a playful and silly approach to the theatre and some inspired comic set pieces that are hard to resist. There is also a tiny moment of introspection that gives us a glimpse of how Garry got here. But only after we've seen his penis. And that's something you can't unsee. 

Directed by Cal McCrystal, Garry Starr Performs Everything is at the Southwark Playhouse Borough venue until 23 December. 

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Photos by Wil Hamilton-Coates and Jeromaia Detto

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